Happy Birthday Mom!
Mother's Day is now bittersweet as yesterday was also my mom's birthday. I rejoice in her life and in the woman who was and still is my mother. Two years ago I lost her. I never really understood the depth of sadness we walk through when we lose those we love so much. It was a double blow because my dad passed 6 months prior to her. Walking through life in a daze, I somehow performed all that was expected of me, not allowing myself time to mourn.
I suppose the demanding work and hectic lifestyle were a blessing, but the cautioning words of wisdom from my cousin and childhood best friend, Russell Adams, warned me that if I didn't allow myself the time to mourn, to cry my eyes out if needed, the emotions would continue to surface.
Perhaps this is why I felt the strong pull to let go of my Dallas lifestyle, to distance myself from the fast paced ambitions, the mentality of always pushing and yet never quite finding satisfaction. I felt trapped in a lifestyle I no longer loved. The dawning came as I realized my days on earth are growing shorter. I need to spend my time in ways which fulfill me, to spend time with my dear husband who's been a rock for me through this challenging season.
WHAT KIND OF A LIFESTYLE IS IT, IF YOU'RE TOO BUSY TO SPEND TIME WITH THOSE YOU LOVE THE MOST?
Accepting this conclusion, my next actions surprised everyone, including myself. We sold our home and much of what we own, and have relocated to Alto, New Mexico. Now my pace is slower and I can breathe deeply, something I had to remind myself to do before. I feast my eyes on the panoramic beauty of this majestic region. Somehow my life is back in focus and I walk with a peace I haven't felt in years. For the first time in two and a half years, I can accept the loss of my beloved parents, knowing they are well and still with me in Spirit.
So for those of you who feel this pain of loss as we celebrate Mother's Day, please find peace in the knowledge that your mom is in a better place and is still watching over you. Peace my friends on this special holiday.
From the heart,
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